*Transmission Tuesday is a weekly offering that features a message I've channeled from the earth and / or spirit guides. This message was channeled on 6/19/18, during a time of intense public outcry about children being separated from their parents when crossing the US border.
This message is for folks who are from colonizer lineage and are doing work to heal the trauma of colonization in their communities and in themselves.*
It's important to feel you own feelings because you have to clear out, make space make room. You can’t want to support someone and their feelings of bereft-ness, grief, pain -- if you are not able to touch those feelings within yourself.
Your feelings don’t come at the expense of someone else’s feelings. they are how you connect.
And it is true that something people sometimes do is to use their feelings as a shield and a blanket to not connect with others.
because it is confusing,
there is dissonance of information and it is comfortable or more easy to stay in your own cocoon of feeling and broken-heartedness
and we are not advocating for that.
but you cannot connect and love and support each other from place of your own disconnection.
as you try to walk in this world to do your dance of service
which is your dance of beauty as well, your dance of loving and supporting one another, you cannot do this work if you do not know how to love yourself. you cannot go to the table of someone who is in pain or bereft and offer them flowers and food and nourishment if you do not know how to offer them to yourself also.
it is important that if you are full, as you are abundant, that you set the table for somebody else. to set the table for someone who is in pain when you can look at the suffering of another person and see how their body quivers and shakes with pain and grief, you must go to them with your gifts and comfort. when you are full, when you have support, when you have nourishment. share.
it will not cost you your life or even your good feeling-ness to go and share the bounty of your security with somebody else.
this is called balance. this is called giving.
this is called setting a table that every one is invited to. this is called using your heart’s stew — the recipes and the security that have been passed on from generations — the nourishment that you feel inside your body, the love that you have been given by the people around you, when you have that, is meant to be shared, and the table is meant to be set for everyone.
now their is a famine, and it is a famine of the spirit. in the united states, as a large group — not every individual — but as a large group, your table is bountiful. and it is time for you to set the table and share it with others. this world is not meant to thrive on some having and some not having. and anytime you create a system that is out of balance in this way, it will not last.
and when it — this system — comes down. it might be a surprise. it might be VERY painful to those who have been attached to it. But everybody else who has been living in a different reality, it will not be so different for them. It will not be so different for them to pull the cloths down from the table and to allow the food and the fruits and the bounties that have been there to reach those who have been at the bottom of the table picking up the scraps.
if you sit in a chair that is high, if you sit in this chair and you have a seat at this table that cannot be reached by many, what you can do now is you can move your table to the ground. you can bring your dishes and what you have made to share with very few onto the ground and share with more.
we know that you do not have a vision, an understanding, of how this will work. and what this will look like, we know that what you know is a system where some people have and most people do not.
and if you have, you strive to keep.
and when you sit at the table that is so high, and you feel those below you gnawing at your ankle, you kick them away. and there is evil in that action.
but you do this because you are used to sitting at the table. and to you, sitting on the floor means death. you do not know that experience. you only know the opulence of fine linens and white sheets, you do not know that in the height of your table you are not sitting on the ground, you do not know the energy and the pain and the forcefulness that it takes to uphold, to withhold, such tight securities and boundaries.
and although you are fearful — more than you can say — of this table crumbling, when that happens, first of all - if you are already sitting on the ground of your own volition, this will feel different. second of all, when that happens, your illusions will take some time to break and it will take you some time to reset.
but you will notice that
deep inside of you
deep inside of you, deep inside of you
you have been looking down on the ground with envy.
not because you envy poverty, or pain, or trauma or suffering.
but because the deepest part of you, the most true part of you, has wanted to be with your fellows. has known that your comfortable life has come at the expense of others, keeps you cordoned off, keeps you separate.
and as you move into a global age you realize that you do not want to be separate.
so as you are sitting on the ground
and yes some of the fine foods have fallen away and the security has fallen away
but you will see that the food that has been laid out before you is rich and diverse. and although you may be offering 33 or 45% more than other people, you will see that the connection that you feel and the way that it feels to share food and break bread
this is the life you have been wanting.
this is the life you have been learning for and yearning for. this is the life that fills the emptiness that has been inside of you that you didn’t even know.
sitting so far away and up from everyone filled you with isolation
it robbed your joy, it put parameters around your joy and said you can only feel joy in this way, you can only feel love in this way.
they said: HEY -- look forward, don’t look down at them. look at me. smile. everything is great. since your youth, they told you never to look. in many words and many ways.
we will tell you that the ones who set this table, the ones who built it, higher and higher. yes, they did so on the backs and bodies of others. they did so with death and violence. the death and violence upon which they built this table was a death and violence to themselves as well as others -
those that they enslaved, raped, captured, brutalized.
you see, this also necessitated a severing of the self. to cauterize, really, to burn a piece of flesh and of the heart. the people who built this table did so at great expense to their spirits,
such that they became less than human.
and you do not want to dine at this table of the monster.
and you ask the question - were these people evil, who built this table? how is this human nature/ how did this come to happen? is the white man truly a scourge? is the white man worse?
we do not have that answer. what we can tell you is that there were brutal people in your history AND there have been brutal people in every country, every culture, dating back before people were even white. people raped, enslaved and they saw what could happen with the notion of power, control, violence, threats. when people are deprived and desperate they can be controlled. look at Egypt, look at recorded history and you will see that this is not a new phenomenon. you will see that brutalization has happened throughout, continued to happen.
and so your task is NOT to say that this group of people, this demographic, is evil. Your task is to say that "these people that created the table at which we sit, were evil. and we will not dine at a table built on the charred bones and bodies of our brethren, of our siblings. we will not sit at that table, we reject that table and will burn it down.”
your task in that burning and in that naming of that evil is to invite ALL people to name that evil.
and in doing so, in doing the naming, they will see that there have been evil and brutal and terrible people the world over, history over, this is not a new phenomenon. but what you have the opportunity to do IS phenomenal. it IS about intentionally denying the benefits that have come from a system of brutalization, turning them down. invalidating them. climbing down onto the ground which as much riches as you have amassed and sharing them with others.
we know that it is scary, we do not want you to keep yourself cordoned off. you must.
YOU. MUST. REALIZE.
the emptiness, the hollowness, the sadness you feel,
the hole you cannot fill,
the things you avoid in your deepest depths,
will never be remedied until you are sitting among everyone else.
that this is not the work that you do to be a “good person”. this is the work that you do to be a person, period. and it is as much for you - for your soul, for your life fulfillment, as it is for anybody else that you are here to help and support.
so know this. that even as it appears that bombs are falling and the world is freaking out because changes are being made, you must at times allow yourself to rest in the embrace of sunlight. in the gentleness of wind, and know that the atrocities of mankind, the free will of humans, some of whom are evil and have been thoroughly corrupted through the process that i have described,
that this is separate from the will of the one who loves you. the divine, your maker. the one who holds you, and all beings, precious. and we have never wanted this for any of you. that this violence and pollution and smoke, the bombs that fall and fell, have been created by humans. please do not conflate our love — which is unconditional, vast, inexplicable, inexhaustible, which covers every molecule of you regardless of whether you are sitting at the table, on the ground — please do not conflate that love, with the atrocities that mankind has done to one another out of its confusion and free will.
this. is not our will.
and even as we love you, if you are sitting in your high table, know that we long for you to join those on the ground, whether that is by falling or climbing down on your own volition. maybe if you bruise your butt you will learn the lesson and understand a little bit faster. know that as we see you at the table, we weep. because we know what completeness could feel like, and we know your soul longs to and needs to experience that, and we know you are afraid. and we hold all of you equally. even in your state of disillusion. we love you and long for your wholeness, just as we long for the completeness of others, for the nourishment of these children who have been left behind, who are begging for scraps. this has never been the way to live. and it pains us. some of you have chosen it.
take heart. do your work. let the table fall. climb down. and share what you have. you will know how to do it when it comes. and every action and every breath, you make yourself on the same level. we will show you.